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How to Negotiate Your Wants and Needs in a Relationship

People are naturally drawn to individuals they’re similar to. Alternatively, people can like each other because they’re opposites. In this scenario, it’s much more difficult to maintain personal habits and routines. This is because one or the other will always be in conflict with another. In the end, it’s all about taking that risk and being true to what you feel.

After finally defining your relationship with your partner, you’re now ready to face a new set of obstacles. Part of being in a relationship is negotiating your wants and needs, and it’s an essential part of keeping you and your partner happy. Without addressing this component of your partnership, your time together isn’t likely to last.

Wanting Different Things In a Relationship

Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with another, which can be difficult to manage, depending on your personality type. While some may find this easy, others can struggle with wanting different things from their partner. Although you may have different wants and needs, you can try a healthy approach to keep all parties happy.

If you want to keep a strong and healthy relationship, communicate your needs with these three methods:

1. State Your Expectations and Boundaries

Getting into arguments is primarily due to a misunderstanding or miscommunication. If you cannot determine what bothers your partner, you’re likely to commit mistakes and start unintended fights. For this reason, it’s vital to state your expectations and boundaries.

Remember that transparency is the best way to maintain a healthy relationship. Keeping your grievances to yourself just to protect your partner’s feelings will hurt you both in the long term. This is why you should be honest about anything, from food preferences to your love language.

2. Balance Giving and Asking

A relationship requires some giving and taking, and you shouldn’t expect your partner to give as much as you do. Similarly, you shouldn’t allow them to take too much than you’re comfortable with. This is why you need to balance your giving and asking at a healthy amount.

Know when you’re overstepping your boundaries if you’re asking too much. In the same way, you should check if you’re asking too little. Additionally, you should assess if your partner is giving too much or asking too little as well.

3. Negotiate and Reach a Compromise

A common compromise that couples need to agree on is each other’s love languages. Sometimes, the hardest part of being with the one you like is not getting what you need. It’s even worse when they feel like they’re doing enough, and you don’t feel the same. This is why you need to establish your different wants and needs.

Reaching an arrangement is about trying repeatedly until you get it right, so you shouldn’t feel bad if you don’t get it right the first time. As long as you’re constantly trying and getting better, you’ll eventually find the right compromise for your different wants and needs.


Being in a relationship is all about crossing boundaries and comfort zones. If you’re unwilling to bend some of your wants and needs, you’re not likely to find the one. In fact, these decisions aren’t always about the big arguments like moving in together or getting married. These arguments start in the little things, from attending a party to ordering the right food. This is why you should know how to navigate the obstacles of your relationship.

Navigating the obstacles of your relationship can be tough to handle by yourself. For this reason, we developed the Shake N Date app to help couples develop stronger bonds and healthier behaviours towards each other. Download our app today!


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