Breaking up with someone who has shared happy and sad memories with you is difficult. However, moving on from this connection and going on with your life may be harder and more painful.
If you came across this article, you probably have recently broken up with someone and are wondering what to do next. Where do you go now? How can you move on with a huge piece missing in your life?
Before you set up that Bumble or Tinder profile and put yourself out into the dating world again, remember that you must heal first to be a better person for yourself and your next partner. Follow our five steps below to move on and find the happiness you deserve in this new chapter of your life.
1. Accept the Breakup
After a breakup, it helps to remember that you are leaving a relationship that is no longer healthy for you and the other person. This opens up your perspective and makes it easier for you to accept that the relationship is no more.
Be gentle with yourself and accept that wishes to get back together may cross your mind, but that you are not going to stay in those fantasies. This chapter of your life is already over, and you need to fully accept that so you can be ready to face the next ones.
2. Do Not Blame Anyone
Whether it’s your ex or yourself, do not resort to putting the blame on anyone. Replaying negative scenarios will only cause you more emotional pain and fill your head with what-ifs and could-have-beens.
Remind yourself that whatever went wrong in the relationship is not the fault of anyone; sometimes, you are meant to learn the proper lessons with the wrong person. Learn yours and use these to better yourself.
3. Put Distance between You and Your Ex
Many people make the mistake of staying friends with an ex immediately after the breakup. It is unhealthy and stops both of you from completely moving forward with your own lives.
The one who broke you can not be the one to heal you. Your emotional wound is still fresh, and interacting with the person who caused it will only worsen it. Resist any urge to contact them and ask how they are doing because you do not need to know. Likewise, if they are reaching out to you, tell them to kindly stop as this will not help both of you in the long run.
Staying in touch with your ex will keep you thinking about them and the possibility of getting back together. This is not the way to move on and continue with your life.
4. Quit Talking about Them
After the breakup, you may need to let everything off your chest by talking to close friends and family about what happened. Bottling up the pain is not healthy and conducive for moving on after all.
However, you may want to set a deadline until when you can talk about your ex and the breakup. This is because constantly talking about them to other people is not exactly a beneficial way to get them out of your mind.
5. Learn from the Relationship
As with any experience in life, you should use your breakup to learn about yourself and your mistakes. Treasure the memories and warm feelings, but don’t hold on to them.
Examine how you were during the relationship, and think about what you like and dislike about yourself and your partner. If you need to, write this information down and use it to better yourself as a partner in the future and to know which traits are non-negotiable for the next person you are going to date.
You just got out of a relationship, so now you are responsible for the healing of your heart. Friends and family will be there to offer you support, but, ultimately, the choice is up to you to start moving on from this heartbreak. No matter how long it takes, as long as you are making progress, you are well on your way to healing your broken heart and starting anew.
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