Breakups are one of the most heartbreaking things people can go through. It’s especially painful and stressful if you happen to be living with that person. There are many levels to any relationship, but once you start sharing a roof, space, and your life, you become entwined in unique ways. When that bond is broken, it can be paralysing.
One can only hope to have a clean and easy break once a relationship ends. For couples that live together, this can be a huge challenge. There are a lot of financial and legal aspects you must figure out—preferably together. It’s infinitely harder to handle the process of moving out or beginning again when you and your ex are on bad terms.
All that said, how does one even begin the process of moving out or ending your life together with a partner that you’ve been living with? It’s hard, but the best thing you can do is simply get started.
Have a Serious Conversation
Breakups have great potential to get messy, complicated, and disastrous fast. Tensions will run high, and being stuck together in one space prevents you and your ex from reflecting and healing correctly.
But there’s no better way to go about it other than to do it simply. Sit down and have a serious and civil conversation with each other. Talks about finance and property can be a minefield, so try your best to regulate your emotions and keep yourself in check. Both of you must agree on what to do with your shared property.
Consider yourself lucky if the breakup happens around the same time the lease is ending. Otherwise, you should both talk about the possibility of selling it or simply ending the contract and splitting the corresponding fees and penalties. It would be better if you could both come to a mutually beneficial agreement.
Know Your Options
When moving out after a breakup, several options are available to you, depending on your situation. Assuming that you both own the property, you could either move out and stay with a friend or family while you sort yourself or buy your ex out. If you’re particularly attached and have invested time and money on the property, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep it.
If you’re going to buy your ex out, you first need to get the property surveyed for its value. Again, it’s important to have a serious talk with them before making any decisions. Remember, both of you still live and own the property. Acting without consulting them first can only complicate things for everyone involved.
Don’t Go Through it Alone
One of the hardest things about moving out after a breakup is telling your friends and family. The fact that you moved in together with your ex often means that they have become a huge and integral part of not just your life but your loved ones’ as well. No matter what the little voice in your head says, do not go through it alone.
This time in your life can be painful enough. You shouldn’t have to shoulder everything on your own. You don’t have to announce it to the world, but you must at least talk to one person. Share the burden to help yourself heal and move on and out with the support of a friend.
The Bottom Line
Moving out alone or even as a couple can be a hectic task, add on the emotional turmoil and possible awkwardness, and you have a recipe for a potential disaster. It is essential to brace yourself and do your best to work and communicate with your ex during this time. This is the only way to ensure that everything moves along as smoothly and painlessly as possible.
Moving on is hard, but when you’ve finally opened yourself up again and have found someone new, we can help you keep things solid and strong. Shake N Date is a dating app for couples. Our primary goal is to help couples develop healthy relationships. You can find various related activities on our app and more. Find out more today!