A romantic relationship requires a lot of care, sacrifices, concessions and dedication to succeed. Good listening skills, patience, respect for your spouse, positivity, etc., are a few examples of what it takes to maintain a relationship. However, some relationship traits and practices are being looked down on as "toxic" despite being healthy for the relationship. Here are a few good examples:
1. Not Making Each Other Feel Good All the Time
When our utmost priority is always to make ourselves or our spouse feel good, more often than not, no one ends up feeling good. As a result, the connection disintegrates. It is critical to prioritise something more than simply making each other feel wonderful all of the time in your relationship. Similar to most life aspects, there will be ups and downs. It's essential to view the downs as a normal part of the relationship and an opportunity to forge a stronger bond.
2. Being Willing to End Things
Irrational romantic idealisation causes people to stay with partners who do not treat them well and repress their pain and suffering to preserve a relationship. However, there are occasions when the only thing that can save a relationship is to quit it before it gets too detrimental. Physical, mental, verbal abuse, etc., are actual toxic practices that may negatively impact your life further down the line.
3. Needing "Space."
Nobody wants to hear the words "I need some time to myself." It might be stressful to suspect that your partner is considering divorce or is going behind your back with another person. People wanting a little space to breathe on their own, on the other hand, isn't a bad thing.
This is especially true if you and your spouse have opposing hobbies, such as you enjoying a sporting event while he prefers board game night. And if you're an introvert, you might need to spend some time alone with a good book. But if your spouse is talking about moving out or splitting, that's a different story; in that instance, both of you should get in contact with a couples counsellor.
4. Feeling Attracted to Other People
Not only are we capable of seeing other persons as sexy and attractive, but it is also a biological instinct instilled in our genes to reproduce and survive.
The difference ultimately boils down to whether or not we act on that desire. Our cultural scriptures teach us that attraction should be to our partner exclusively once we fall in love. If we enjoy someone's flirtatious advances or have naughty daydreams about other people, society automatically presumes something is amiss with our relationship.
This shouldn't be the case. It's healthier to allow yourself to feel and accept these emotions and then let them go.
5. Ignoring a Partner's Text Messages
In the current age, we're more connected than ever, thanks to technology. While it offers incredible convenience, it may also serve as a distraction from other pursuits.
We live in a time where total accessibility and openness are expected. As a result, it's deemed odd if you don't make yourself utterly accessible to your spouse. However, it might be beneficial not always to be immediately available. Furthermore, being overly demanding of your partner's time, or vice versa, might have negative implications.
Constant connectivity can result in smothering neediness and control tendencies. Instead, ignoring your partner's text to focus on work, exercise, or simply doing other enjoyable things should be the ideal relationship practice. Disconnect to connect, as they say.
Relationships can be complicated and challenging. It gets more bogged down when you let cultural scripts control your relationship. A couple can have a healthy, intimate and nourishing relationship and still lead individual lives.
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