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Trouble with Marriage: How to Keep the Fire Burning

Being in a relationship is a lot harder once you’re already a married couple. After passing that milestone, the pressure and routine of being together seem to meld together. It can lead to constant fights or gradually weaken the flame of passion you both once had. If you let things stagnate as they are, you’ll frequently feel dissatisfied in your marriage.

Keeping the Flame of Love Burning

Even if you’re married, you have to treat your relationship with the same level of risk and uncertainty. This means you should always look forward to different activities that break routine. Instead of letting everyday meals and household chores dull your relationship, you should ignite the spark of your love. A great way to add timber to this flame is by returning to your dating habits.

Before you were married, there was the thrill of keeping something strong and looking forward to the future. Now that you’re engaged in matrimony, with kids, or tons of other responsibilities together and individually, it can get complicated to schedule an actual date. This is precisely the reason you should have one now and then.

In this article, we’ll share three benefits of regularly going on dates with your spouse.

1. Breaks Routine

While you may spend time together all the time, that doesn’t mean you’re going on dates. Even having meals three times a day doesn’t count as a date unless you call it one. The intent behind the occasion makes it a date, whether you decide to watch a movie together or eat out at a restaurant.

Scheduled date nights are a break from the standard routine, which tells your brain to anticipate something different. It’s a similar change in mindset when you head off to work. This is because it’s a formal event that breaks routine and gives you something to look forward to.

2. Celebrates Milestones

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’ve reached the peak of your relationship. There are numerous hurdles you’ll have to overcome and experience as a married couple and as individuals. A promotion at work, the birth of your child, or even just building a cabinet together.

After an important moment in your life, it’s only natural to celebrate it with the ones you love. Doing so makes the achievement more special and memorable to look back on. Remember, cherishing success is sweeter with the love of your life.

3. Shows Spontaneity

Besides being a formal occasion, a date doesn’t have to be a standard dinner and a movie. After all, you can’t keep pulling the same trick over and over again. Instead of going out or preparing dinner, you could write love letters to each other, go on a hiking trip, spend the night in bed all day, and many more. Look back to when you and your spouse weren't married and imagine the lengths you had to go to make a date special. Doing so will help you discover new dating habits, both old and new.


Constantly putting in the effort in your relationship will feel like a chore, but it will naturally become a part of how you treat each other. Eventually, you’ll see dating as part of your new routine as a married couple. If you’re unsure how to get started with a big step, you can start with simple ways to connect and spend time together.

Marriage troubles can put you in a rough patch with no starting point to recovering from your relationship. This is why we developed the Shake N Date app to help married couples develop stronger bonds and overcome relationship struggles. Download our app today!


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